


Chopsticks

by llcflms



Series: Ayahina Week 2017 [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, cute cute, they cuddle on the roof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llcflms/pseuds/llcflms
Summary: The Aogiri members were playing around with a pair of chopsticks, which makes Ayato remember a past he had tried so hard to forget. Hinami comforts him.
Relationships: Fueguchi Hinami/Kirishima Ayato
Series: Ayahina Week 2017 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821004
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Chopsticks

**Author's Note:**

> Ayahina Week Day 2 (March 27th): Past / Future

“Humans are so weird. How do they even…?” As Miza spoke, the pair of wooden chopsticks dropped out of her hands. Naki burst out laughing and Miza fixed him a silencing glare, which went unnoticed by him but not unnoticed by his underlings.

“Oi Hag!” Hooguro snapped.

“If you think you have the right to look at Naki Aniki that way, you have no idea what your position is,” Shousei added.

As Miza raised her eyebrows at the two, Gagi and Guge started muttering some unfathomable gibberish in defence of Naki. Meanwhile, Hinami had slipped among the chaotic crowd to pick up the dropped sticks and Ayato sighed while watching her. As always, she was ever the goody-two-shoes.

Hinami walked away from them to return to his side, fingering with the pair of chopsticks. She was obviously curious over how they worked, yet she seemed to be trying her best to hide it.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Ah, Ayato-kun. Nothing. These are different from what I used,” she said.

He used them a lot before though.

“Really?” he murmured. His tone sounded uninterested even though that was far from the truth. Hinami never talked much about her parents or her past and whenever she did, it was amidst trembles and sobs. Whenever she did let little things slip like that, Ayato found himself all ears for her words.

“My family used forks and knives mostly to eat our meat,” Hinami replied. “You have to cut them after all.”

Right, her family pretended to be human but at least they kept to eating ghoul’s food. There was only one person he knew who’d go to the extent of even eating human food.

Hinami was still fiddling with the chopsticks, her eyes fixed intently on trying to get the two pieces of sticks working. When she was finally confident about her ability, she moved to the plate of guts Miza and the rest were playing with earlier on. As Hinami approached it, the whole room fell silent. Even the formerly squabbling Triple Blades and White Suits fixed their attention on her. Ayato found himself moving closer for a better look as well. Hinami reached out the sticks toward the clump of meat. As she slowly lifted a piece, it slid nicely out of her hold and back down onto the pile.

“Ah, even Hinami can’t do it, huh?” Miza sighed. “Then I guess it’s impossible for anyone to do it.”

“Huh really?” Naki sighed. “Everyone’s so hopeless.”

“Humans are really on another level,” Hooguro sighed, taking the pair from Hinami to have his own go, only to reap the same results. “Seriously, what is this?”

“Well, everyone here already tried. It’s safe to say that it’s impossible,” Miza concluded.

“Ah! Ayato hasn’t gone!” Naki sneered, pointing at Ayato who was lazily leaning against one of the couches.

“I’ll pass,” he sighed.

“Why? Are you scared?” Naki chuckled.

Not exactly. In fact, he was pretty confident that he could succeed. However, he’d rather not recall things those chopsticks were reminding him of.

_Hey, hold your chopsticks. Let’s eat.  
_ _Let’s eat…_

Ayato shook his head, clearing the images that were surfacing in his mind. He felt a tug on his sleeve and he looked to see Hinami’s smiling face, holding out the chopsticks towards him.

“Come on, Ayato-kun, just one try,” she giggled. “It’s okay. We can all laugh together.”

He knew he wouldn’t be laughing. Yet, he couldn’t exactly say no to that smile. Despite not wanting to, he reached out and took it from her, before moving over to sit on the couch. The plate of guts was laid on the table before him. The room had fallen silent again and all eyes were on him.

_I could just purposely drop it._

His body might not even remember how to use it. It had been years. But as he felt the slim wooden sticks between the pads of his finger and thumb, he knew it was a hopeless thought. He knew exactly what to do, what muscle to use and how to angle the sticks. He knew the amount of strength he needed to use to move the sticks, the direction they should go and the speed he needed to rely on so something as slippery as the guts wouldn’t drop out of his hold. He knew all that so well that even if he wanted to mess up, he couldn’t. Before he knew it, he had picked up a piece and slid it into his mouth. But even at the success of his action, the piece of gut didn’t even taste anything close to delicious. If anything, he felt like he was eating meat and potato stew again.

_I’m going to throw up._

The room remained in silence for a short while longer— this time from disbelief and shock— before erupting into a wave of cheers and catcalls.

_As expected of Ayato. Is there anything this guy can’t do? Amazing. Wonderful._

Ayato wished they would all shut up for a moment.

“Man, you’re seriously on a whole different level from the rest of us,” Miza chuckled, slapping his playfully on the shoulder. “Where’d you pick that up from?”

“When I was younger, my father…” Ayato felt his head spin as he spoke and his words trailed off into an uncomfortable silence. He hesitated for a moment, fully aware that Miza’s eyes were fixed onto his side profile, before placing the chopsticks down on the table and getting up. “Nevermind. It’s not important. I’m going to my room.”

“Huh? But—”

He waved his hand, cutting into her words, as he walked away. Sliding both hands into his pocket, he sighed once again. He had said that he was going to his room, but when he reached it, he simply walked past it, climbing the flight of stairs all the way to the roof of their hideout. Throwing the door open, he was greeted by a burst of cold nighttime wind and he wished he had a jacket at least. He didn’t have the energy to go back down to take it and he figured a little cold wouldn’t hurt him. Still completely in silence, he moved to his favourite spot and settled down, hugging his knees as his eyes fixed on the sight of the ever-bustling streets of Tokyo. 

_Hey, hold your chopsticks. Let’s eat._

“Let’s… eat… huh?” he murmured.

_I don’t know how it tastes, but I made it from the recipe._  
_Even Dad can cook well by following this.  
_ _Touka and Ayato eventually you will both be able to do this._

“Shut up,” Ayato whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead on his arms. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up—”

“I’m sorry.”

For a moment, he couldn’t recognize the voice that had interrupted him. For a moment, he imagined it was _him_.

But when Ayato raised his head to the person standing behind him, the illusion is instantly shattered and he is greeted by the uncomfortable grimace of his partner. Hinami murmured another apology, before moving to sit by his side, pressing her body against the side of his body.

“I’m sorry,” she said for the third time, lightly holding onto his bicep.

“What for?” he asked. He genuinely didn’t know, not even after pondering about it as she repeated her apologies in her hushed whispers.

“I knew. I knew yet I forgot. Onee-chan told me before about your father,” she whispered.

_Oh?_

“She told me,” Hinami continued, her head hanging low and her eyes fixed on her hands, “how your father made you eat human food, how your family lived completely as humans and how you lived together with them.”

He wasn’t surprised.

“She told me her brother hated everything that reminded him of her father. She told me you hated humans and the way they live.”

“I…”

He didn’t quite know what to say.

“I’m sorry I forgot about it. I shouldn’t have asked you to do that.”

“No, it’s not your fault,” he murmured in a quick reply. Hinami rested her head on his arm and Ayato had to admit that it was a little reassuring to have her beside him. Her presence would never remove the pain he bore day after day. She could never make him forget the things had gone through and the things he had learnt to believe in. But by her just being there, he felt that things would be better. It was fine because just like him, she had memories she was too afraid to confront as well. She had sorrows that weighed her down every time she closed her eyes. When it comes to what they had been through, both of them weren’t exactly the same. Yet they weren’t all that different as well. 

“One day…” he whispered softly, feeling her head move to look up at him. Ayato swallowed the lump rising in his throat as he fixed his eyes on the horizon before them. “One day, it’ll all be okay.”

He knew that one day, he would gain the courage to face what he needed to. When that day came for him, it would be okay, especially if she was there with him, holding his hand and pressing herself against him like she always did when he was upset.

One day, she would gain the courage to face what she needed to as well and when that day came, he wished he’d be there for her as well.


End file.
